Now when
everyone reads this...
DON'T,
I REPEAT DON'T...
be
saying goodbye and all that shit, rather read his whole post OK...
Read it a
couple of times but read it, digest it, please...
I just am
tired, it is hard to put all this out there to you all in words, I'm going to
try to though...
Having been
around here more than a year now I just get at my wits end, I mean I REALLY like
being here, I really do but...
What happens
when I get tired, bored, in pain, busy, so on and so on...
There are so
any people here I REALLY like, and I mean REALLY do enjoy being in touch with
so...
I am NOT
closing my blog, rather I am just going to post and comment as I
can...
An that
could be as I have been, almost everyday, but I must take this day by
day...
My biggest
problem is with commenting on other peoples blogs, people I really like, I mean
I think it is VERY unfair and one sided that all of you come here and comment
and I seldom get the time to come to you all, this then leads to me feeling
guilty...
As...
So many of
you have brightened my days and my nights and as of late I have made so many new
friends, I have opened up more these past couple of months to so many than I
have in the whole year I had been here so this is NOT easy BUT it is
fair...
Fair just
feels better you know???
Another
subject...
As well I
was in on dial up this evening, working with my old computer...
It took five
minutes for my blog to load, I almost crapped, I felt so bad...
I mean there
are certain other blogs I REFUSE to go to because of all the graphics, yet I
have a FAST machine...
then to find
my blog too forever to load, it just made me feel so bad so having said that
there will be no bells and whistles here on this post, just my
words...
Feeling
REALLY guilty about all the time I have wasted of people not on Cable or DSL
that I have put through all the wasted time waiting on my damn pages to
load...
Sorry...
Much has
gone on in my head as of late, one of the things I enjoy more, or as much as
most anything here on the Stream is working with the Graphics...
Not only is
it a challenge, it is fun, and I also enjoy assisting others with their blogs
when I am able too...
While I
seldom state that publicly...
So if
you check around you *may* find there are other blogs that MAY be mine OR may be
other blogs who have their background images attached to them with my name,
Mistress Reba...
Are they me
or mine, well perhaps some are, perhaps some are not...
After all
have I not always stated that the mind IS the most fuckable part of the
body...
So why
change or spoil the fun now???
Besides with
all the others that have so many blogs even I cannot imagine keeping up with so
many, it is can/be worse than an afternoon of Soap Operas to say the
least...
Kill this
one, resurrect that one, reincarnate another one, you know what I mean, sure you
do, don't pretend as though you don't as we both know that would be a
lie...
As well I am
NOT condemning people for doing that either, rather what I am saying is
perhaps I do it as well, perhaps not...
I am not
*kissing and telling* or being a *bubble buster* so dream on, and smile as you
ponder...
Another
thing that is/has been on my mind is that some have been challenged for some of
the comments they have left on my blog, that is BULLSHIT!!!
Bullshit in
the biggest form I can speak or think of, it pisses me off
indeed...
My mom
always said "it's better to be pissed off than pissed on"...
so
with that thought well you know who you are and as I have always
said...
"if
the shoe fits wear it" so does it fit???
Others have
been intimidated for putting me on their favorites list, many/much other asinine
bullshit...
Childs play
I tell you...
If you've
got a fucking problem with ME then come to ME, come to the frigging source
OK...
Certainly
those balls of yours are big enough, aren't they???
Not wanting
this blog post to sound or turn into something nasty as that is NOT my
intent...
I just have
to let people know I am not their keeper NOR are YOU mine or others for that
matter so stop it already, this shit is getting old...
Please don't
*fuck* with people who want to talk to/with me and be my friends, I don't fuck
with yours...
Recently I
had a good Blog friend who had a legitimate problem with me, what did they
do...
Well they
came to ME with it, to the source, that's what a real man/woman would
do...
as I
am coming forth with my heart on my sleeve here with all of this, not going
behind anyone's back, understand???
Another
thing that comes to my mind is again my old hey days with the Voice Mail
Systems...
this
Blogging is just in many ways another form of it...
It's a dog
eat dog world, get them before they get you...
Make sure
YOU cast out that first stone, all that shit you know...
Kind of
called back stabbing, or something along the vein of how one rotten apple
spoils the whole bunch...
These things
are just things I feel I must release, I must if I am staying here, people must
know and realize how/what I am feeling and living here...
Life is far
to precious to keep wasting it, and it becomes a waste when one must curtail
their inner, true feelings...
I hope
all who may be reading this really understands what I am trying to
say...
It's called
being *for real" as I am being right now, totally honest, flowing with what I
feel in my heart...
If you want
to leave any comments I implore you to do so BUT if you think or feel *screw
that bitch* she don't comment on my blog...
that's
all good too BUT please know I may not be as fair in my visiting other
Blogs as I wish I were...
However I am being TOTALLY honest and doing my very best to let you
all*feel me*...
This is a
BIG part of what I am also trying to convey in this post...
I wish I
could comment more on all you that I care bout's Blogs, I feel bad that I
cannot...
Below are a
few things from an old friend that I want/wanted to use on my thoughts for
the day but...
being
as I am not sure when that day will be I am posting them now...
Now just
seems more appropriate...
Yet remember
this does NOT mean I am leaving, I am just *airing* a bit...
"Be true, be
blue, but never ever be yourself".
"There is no
place in this world I would rather be than with you".
"Leave your
love, leave your hate, or just leave".
I would
alter that one though to...
"Leave your
love, leave your hate BUT don't just leave".
Really, I
love most each and every one of you in some way...
I am such as
recluse bitch if I have *spoke* to you on here trust this...
You mean
something to me...
I don't
share of myself readily or easily...
Love,
Mistress
Reba
Yet I still
say one can draw far more flies with shit than sugar...
Would you
agree???
Remember, a
fly can't bird BUT a bird can fly....
